sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
