Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
