You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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