honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
