We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
