he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well I just put wine in my tea
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize