I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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