Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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