I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
