Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
