You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
