I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
