Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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