If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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