Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
