I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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