It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
