I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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