i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
time to smoke my breakfast
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
