also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
