just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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