I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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