so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
People in love make me want to vomit
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize