New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
