i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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