So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
