listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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