i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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