I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
ttyl tear gas
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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