I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
