and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize