I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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