i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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