I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
