He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
