I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
