so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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