Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am one with the molecules
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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