Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
