yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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