So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
