Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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