I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
that may or may not have been my penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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