I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize