this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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