youre lurking in front of me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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