I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
