Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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