Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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