He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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