Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The beer is more important than you right now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
