My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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