So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
