i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize