Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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