i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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