My pussy is not your playground.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
