My nipple is on Facebook.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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