Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
