Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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